The Crossing - Getting Underway

During The Trip back in February, a plan was hatched between us to work dilligently for a couple of months then purchase a sturdy Landrover to ferry us through the desert to Perth... This didn't happen. Mainly because not one of us was remotely capable of staying off The Goon long enough to save the bean for a tank of diesel, let alone a car.

This led to the Great Plan B: The Crossing. Essentially involving the relocation of a campervan from Cairns to Perth. Good things: New, reliable, luxury vehicle, with rental fees of a pittance ($40 for the whole trip)... Bad things: 19 day time limit, mileage limit, crippling loss of bond if some moron hits too many Roos....

It was so on.

We left Byron in our usual form - running for our bus heavily laden and myself still giggling from the previous night's antics (such a great story, not appropriate here sadly...). After the required carnage that was two nights in Brisvegas we flew up to Cairns and promptly went to bed. When Irish and Canada arrived, it was conveniently Mike's birthday(ish) so we concocted a lovely vat of Shambles for the occasion.

There were then mutterings of creating a Shambles Float. Ice Cream was purchased and we decided this was The Best Idea Ever.
Sufficiently intoxicated we departed to the casino - in theory a foolish idea but one should not underestimate the power of Shambles. After watching Mike lose the $100 of chips that was his birthday present we hit the BlackJack tables... after an hour or so I was pleased with being $80 up. Jer trumped this with $200. Bastard.
After being thrown out of the casino we repaired home, playing the fabulous game hedge on the way

Hedge is a dangerous game... Go Go first injury of The Crossing
We eventually collapsed at some point... shortly after, Muggins here had to go collect the hallowed van at 8am. I managed this (albeit slightly illegally) and successfully negotiated the ANZAC day parades by shouting "it's OK! I'm driving a white van!" at police.

I heroically rocked up at the hostel (to which we can never return) to be greeted with a hail of waterballoons.

This was when I realised I was travelling with utter bastards.

Back To Byron... yet again...

It had to happen really, I'd done the entire East Coast, where else was I to go? So back to Byron, back in Main Beach, back at Hog's Breath. Not a lot changed.

Things I did:

Went to the first leg of the ASP pro tour with Mike - it was just up the road at Snapper Rocks
Caught up with Miriam - an ex-GreaseyJoer... much time was spent in The Balcony doing crosswords and drinking cider.
Experienced a rather epic thunderstorm - Miriam and I had been drinking most of the day for it was ThursdayFunday; the storm hit around 8 ish - we promptly got into the pool and watched the sky split open. Then I wandered the now flooded town...
Thieved Kat's shiny new waterproof camera and went bodysurfing...






Got Kat to draw a Miss Scarlet picture on my board. This looks awesome.

Caught up with the lovely Jacquie, Anna and Andrea - more ex-GreaseyJoers. This led to abundant drinking.
Worked a crapload at Hog's Breath, including a 64 hour week. Not that I minded - Maz, the new manger was practically in love with me - making work much less of a chore... plus the place ran better and almost all the new staff were my mates from the hostel.... On Friday the 13th we had to dress up in costume too... most fun...


Climbed Mount Warning with Kat in pitch darkness. The summit is the first place in the Australian mainland to see sunrise so we started the 3 hour climb at 3am... Kat's job was to obtain a torch for the climb... shame the foolish grotter forgot spare batteries! No matter - it was still a very worthwile climb, if a little treacherous - Kat managed to get bitten by an ant.






Played a LOT of gin rummy with Mike (our scores got up to about 17,000) - we had a routine of running and swimming on the beach at 7, followed by rummy and much trash talking over breakfast until I went to work and Mike went to sleep (he had to get up at 4am every morning to clean campsite toilets...)

Went to Nimbin with some Hoggies people and others, coming back via a rather awesome waterfall...


There was also, of course the requisite partying with randoms I seem to pick up...

Other things I did:
Sold my infernal car to some idiots who looked at it in the dark and didn't even look under the bonnet...

Snuck into the Blues and Roots Festival (Australia's Glastonbury) - managed to see Ben Harper play a blinding closing set after being forcibly ejected twice.

Lost a ridiculous amount of weight - no more gut, no more chin. I did have to buy new jeans and boardies and my old ones kept falling down...

Got my first barrel... ok, I was on a bodyboard, but the waves were about 12ft!

*sigh*
I'm sure there's more but I've most likely forgotten it...

The Trip: Chapter 6 - End of Days

Waking up with the now ever present pain in my lower right side we somberly packed up and headed north once more. Fortunately it was a pleasingly short few hours to Townsville, a ridiculously hot place. Not much was done - we'd all managed to pretty much destroy ourselves chemically, mentally and physically in the last fortnight so we elected to float in the pool all afternoon. Next day we hopped over to Magnetic Island - a pretty yet quiet island a short ferry ride away. We made it less quiet by haring around the island on a Mini Moke we hired.

Within a few hours we'd exhausted all there was to do on the island, even after running in to heaps of folk from the Whitsundays boat. Returning to Townsville, Adam and Jeremy were still on "Detox" so sat in the pool complaining. Elz and I decided to go for a drink or seven. We forgot it was Valentines Day... Now most of you know the unbridled hatred I have for this day, but it was actually a funny night - everyone assumed we were a couple, netting us many free drinks and an eventual armful of roses for Elz.

End of the road was Cairns. Rainy rainy Cairns was where pretty much everyone from Fraser Island and the Whitsundays ended up. This meant of course the requisite partying...
...I was also pleased to catch up again with Emma, albeit briefly... We also did more wholesome things, including a trip up to the Rainforest (photos incoming). Also the required scuba diving on the barrier reef which was an err... interesting day...

After an rather epic last night out for Elz...Dinner! Buckets of Beer $15!!!
...we rocked up a the jetty at 7am in more than a little pain, only to be warned it might not be the best day for a 2 hour trip ot to sea - the weather was pretty bad and expected to get worse... I didn't give a monkeys - I don't get seasick, Adam was leaving the next day so had to go, and Jeremy was still too drunk to argue...

Yeah that was dumb, Jeremy spent the whole trip attempting to chunder over the back of the boat where space was at a premium, Adam meanwhile was steadfastly staring at the horizon and not moving. I spent my time flitting between the two, mocking them savagely. Then all of a sudden I felt a bit iffy, seconds later it became clear there was a gastric explosion imminent. I managed to get to the side of the boat to rid myself of the Captn' Crunch I'd had a few hours previously. A big moment for me. First seasickness in about 20 years.

Suitably refreshed I returned to mocking the others, we eventually arrived at the reef, the phrase choppy-o'clock isn't enough. It was ridiculously rough, there were waves breaking on the reef. Cursing that I didn't bring my board I jumped in to snorkel, finding that the coral was actually a bit of a letdown. Turns out that with the tourism impact, agricultual runoff and the more acidic seawater caused by global warming, the Great Barrier Reef is pretty much dead.

Still pretty cool though - saw a few clownfish, (Nemo!) and lots of other bits n' bobs... then it was time for my scuba dive, I've done quite a few before but you just need to dive the GBR when you go to Oz... The instructor was far to occupied tending to some petrified Japanese girls to keep an eye on me so I just followed the photographer around who had found a sea turtle, go go epic photo...
A few days later we had another high spirited outing when we discovered that renting scooters for a day cost a measly $30... well, the others got their scooters, I got a HOG.


Adam and I also went on an unlimited bungee jumping day...

The rest of our days in Cairns were spent sleeping, drinking, and going to KFC. (Jeremy continued this behaviour for a further three weeks after I left.) I was also trying (barely) to sell my damn car, which would allow me to then leave Cairns and fly back to Byron to see Emma again and also my parents who were making their way through Oz. This didn't happen. Mainly due to the fact that I didn't put much effort into the sale and my car was a heap of shit. It came to the point where I gave up and drove back south to Aerlie Beach to meet the folks who were doing there own Whitsundays trip.

It took a different tack to our previous hedonistic debaucle, I was kindly brought along as well on a recondictioned wooden square rigged ketch (A pirate ship you ignorant pigs). Frankly it was a much needed break, no goon, no touch the cup, no "pull my finger!", just calm, refined sailing around some beautiful islands for 3 nights. I'd left my camera somewhere, so no photos, but it was great, and it was also really good to see the folks.

Mum and Dad then flew south to Brisbane, I drove there in 2 days - go go 140kmph puncture...
...stopping via 1770 for a surf attempt, sadly longboards only that day but a very nice spot. I caught up with the folks again for a night out in Brisbane before my inevitable return to my home in this blessed country: Byron Bay.